Happy Halloween! Well it has been an interesting few days to say the least. The ending of my meds didn't go so well. 2 days ago I started seriously freaking out, the nightmares were back with a vengence and well... My sleeping pills were taken away and I am left with a long gash on my wrist again. Had it not been for my husband and my neighbor bursting in I more then likely would not be here today. I guess it is a good thing, that is the lowest I have been. Or maybe just the most desparate, it was a strange feeling of just not giving a damn about anything but making the pain stop! I just don't understand people anymore, Im sick of the confusion, the craziness and the treatment I get from some of them. I wish there was something I could do to right the wrong that was done. I am trying but not sure what options I have. I am still looking into them though. If I ever plan on getting better I HAVE to make a stand so my 11 year old tells me. I am having issues with my body again... It is hell bent on putting some weight on and I am hell bent on not letting it! I think I just drank too many fluids yesterday as I was craving cold stuff all night! 6 pounds to take off today... erm.. somehow I don't see food in the near future. Not a big deal as I need to do another 3 day fast to detox my body anyway. It just sucks that it has to be on Halloween when all the best candy comes out hahaha! Speaking of which I better get to the store to buy some. This morning was kind of fun. I got to put make up on my oldest for his halloween costume. He decided to be the crow. :) I will post pictures of him and my youngest after tonight's fun! I am so not looking forward to having to be out among the masses but it will make them happy so I will try to cope. If I can't I will just wait in the car while they have their fun. Wish me luck!!

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